Family matters
holy canoli! PDF Print E-mail
Written by Candice   
Friday, 07 November 2008 18:48
Brando's hand is finally bigger than mine. I can't believe it. We just measured. He's celebrating.
 
one less resident PDF Print E-mail
Written by gebs   
Saturday, 18 October 2008 15:12

I'm sad again today. This time it is not about Lucy. It's about Trey.

 

Yesterday I had to send him to his room for inappropriately expressing his anger. He can be angry but he can't slam doors and yell at me. After about a half an hour in his room I went to talk to him. He was crying, which is not unusual when I scold him. He takes everything so personally, as if I don't like him if I am scolding him.

 

I started our conversation with explaining to him how his actions were inappropriate. We talked about how he should handle his anger. From there we went into his problem with misunderstnading people. He was mad at Brando again. He was standing in front of Brando's target again. He knows better but he does it all the time anyway. He likes to try to interfere with what other people are doing. He tries to redirect the attention to himself instead of what the person was occupied with. So anyway, he was standing in front of Brando's target while he was shooting his bb gun. He kept asking Trey to move.  As usualy Trey refused. Brando told him that if he stood there he was going to end up shooting him. Trey took this to mean that Brando was threatening to shoot him.

 

He came inside and  tried to tell me that Brando threatened him.The way our house is situated I can hear what is going on outside when the kids are playing. I explained this toTrey and told him that he was misunderstanding. He exploded. He started yelling at me that I didn't care if he got shot. I sent him to his room to calm down.

Back to the conversation we were having...

 As we got more indepth he started to get really upset. Our conversations are always very calm when we have our "after talks".  I was surprised at how upset he was. He leaned in to me and burst into tears. Finally he said "I miss my mom." I listened to him cry and talk for a bit before I said anything. When I did speak I told him how much I understood because of my father living so far away when I was growing up. We compared stories for a bit before he dropped the bomb.

 

He wants to move back to his mom's house. *gasp* no! We don't want that! We want him here with us. We love having him here. We have made great progress with him since he's lived with us. Our family is happy. The boys play together every day outside. We laugh. We joke. We spend a lot of time together. We really enjoy each other. I don't want him to leave!

 

But of course, as a mama I know that I cannot make selfish choices. I know that the kids' happiness is my first concern. I told trey that if he wanted to be with his mom we would support his decision. It is his choice. We do not believe in forcing a child to stay with one parent or the other. He should have a choice about where he wants to be. I absolutely do not believe that he is making this decision based on the outburst of anger he had earlier. I believe the outburst was in part because he is missing his mom so much. She is pregnant right now. It's hard for Trey to think about being away from her when she is going to have another baby in a few months. It's hard enough being away from his sisters. A new baby would be a sibiling he doesn't even know. That's not a nice thought for him.

 

I think he also thinks that things will be different for him in school there. I expect a lot of him. He is very capable. He is intelligent. But he has not been pushed enough up to this point. He has been pampered in school up until now. He is mostly in normal classes now. He spends four hours of his day in normal classes. This was not how the year started but due to class size he was moved into a small class even thought it was closer to normal levels than what he is used to. The move has made him struggle. He can't get away with skipping assignments. The teachers expect him to do his work. He doesn't like that. He's failing. His science grade is a 42. Yes, out of 100. He scores fairly well on tests but he does not complete any assignments. This has caused tension at home. We are making him complete the assignments even though he will not get credit for them in school. We want him toget in the habit of doing homework.

 

A lot is being ask of him behaviourlly too. He is expected to be on task 70% of the time. That's not something he is used to doing. I was reading the draft of his IEP yesterday. One teacher said he is reminded at least 15 times in one class period to get on task. Often, within one minute of being corrected he needs to be told again. This is frustrating for everyone. His teachers, him, the support staff, us. It's not easy to see him struggle with the changes. We know he can do it. We just don't know how to make him want to.

Trey thinks if he goes to school in Oklahoma it will be easy for him again. He says that people up here expect too much of him. I tried to make him realize it's not because of the location but because of his age and grade level. School is not just about socializing. He doesn't believe me yet.

 

So anyway, as I type this I am waiting for him to get off the phone with his mom and Chad. I am anxious to see how they feel about him moving there. I secretly hope they say they can't handle him at this time. I doubt that will happen. I know they had a great time together over the summer. It's just my selfish wishes to keep the boy I have grown to love so much. Summer visits just are not enough. We already do that with the girls. It will be harder with Trey since he's been with us for the last few years. He's my little "Booster Jr". And I will miss him so much.

 
RIP Lucy PDF Print E-mail
Written by gebs   
Thursday, 16 October 2008 16:41
We lost our rat today.

Lucy was Omni's last meal. He couldn't eat her so we ended up with her as a pet. We grew to love her very much. She was with me every day for the last year. She like to snuggle into my hair or in my cleavage. Her little face would peek up at me from under my shirt.

Every time I was holding her during breakfast she would try to get into my cereal bowl. She loved soy milk. She would not try to get anything dairy but she loved soy products.

She was the most talkative rat we have had. When we held her she would constantly chatter. If anyone walked near her cage she would chatter. When I would come down the stairs in the morning she would be glued to the side of her cage waiting for me. She knew that when she saw the lights come on it was snuggle time.

Yesterday when I came home from shopping I went to visit her. She would not come when I called her. Brando called to her too. She didn't respond. That was unusual. I opened the door to her cage and picked up her cardboard tube. She's been sleeping in that instead of her house. She poked her head out but did not come out all the way. I had to reach in to grab her. She felt limp. She was breathing slowly.

We tried to get her to drink. She drank a teaspoon of soy milk. She would not eat anything. She likes shredded wheat so I tried to feed her that. She wouldn't touch it. We tried a little bit of peanut butter (another favorite of hers). She ate a very small amount.

We figured she would die over night. We were going to get her examined and antibiotics if she needed them if she made it through the night. It was already after 1am so we hoped she could make it until 7:30 when the boys left. I put her right next to the bed so if she did die she wouldn't be alone.

When I woke at 6:20 she was waiting by her door. I thought maybe she was feeling a little better. I was wrong. I picked her up and she was still limp. She crawled up to my neck and snuggled in. Her breathing was very slow. I had the boys come to her so they could visit her before school. I wanted them to be able to say goodbye. I hoped she would hold on until they left for school. Lucy and I were always alone together. I wanted it that way when she died.

Trey was eating breakfast and Brando was brushing his teeth. Lucy and I were sitting together snuggling. I told her it was OK to go. She didn't need to hold on any more. She jumped forward twice and tried to hide. I picked her up again and held her close to me.  She looked up at me. I told her I loved her. She took a deep breath and then she was gone. It was 7:09am.

I held her close for a few minutes before I called the boys in. They both asked to hold her body. When they were done with her we took her outside to place her under the bamboo by our back door. When Lucky and Slevin died over the summer we placed them there too.

I was very emotional. She was my companion for the last year. But what I was feeling did not compare to what Trey was feeling. Unfortunately I didn't realize it hit him as hard as it did. He cried a little but appeared fine by 7:30 when the bus came to pick the kids up.

I emailed his emotional support teacher as soon as he left so she would know what happened in case he was sad in school. He was more than sad. He spend the first few hours crying. They gave him grief counseling to help him. It seemed to help but he is still upset now.

He rubbed his eyes so much trying not to cry that he has blacked both of his eyes. He wrote Lucy a letter and placed it next to her. He wants to make her a tombstone with her name on it. We will be baking a cake this evening to celebrate her life and our love for her.

I hope that he is feeling better tonight. He has never reacted this way to other animals we have lost.
 
blah PDF Print E-mail
Written by gebs   
Monday, 02 June 2008 21:13

I hate waiting so long to see the girls. I miss them.

 Sometimes I get sad even looking at their beautiful little faces.

 

Trinity

 

Maci